• Pathfinder,  worthless shit

    Pathfinder – Carrion My Wayward Son (12/28/13)


    Hi everyone,

    I wanted to post a few things before the game on Saturday.


    It’s been a few weeks since the group explored the Temple and freed Kormiggon. Due to your service for both the Pathfinder Society, the Church of Pharasma, and the Duskwardens decided to upgrade your accommodations. Your characters are currently staying at the Goldenwood Boughs, a luxurious hotel located in the Highside Stacks, the well-to-do district of Kaer Maga.

    Two letters have been delivered to you care of the Pathfinder Society of Absalom. One is from Kormiggon, the swordsman you released from the slavery of the Shadow Lodge. The other is from Venture-Captain Dreng, the leader of the Absalom Pathfinder Guild.

    Here is the letter from Kormiggon (read this one first).

    Here is Dreng’s letter.

    To accept, you’ll need to talk to the Church of Pharasma and specifically the leader of the church: High Priestess of Death Delana Karaheis.


    Unfortunately, I may not get challenges made in time for the game. There’s a lot of other stuff added though!

    See you guys later!


  • Pathfinder

    Pathfinder Retroscopic: Finding Your Way in 1960s Varisia



    The Party:

    Alora, Sorceress Supreme

    Darzzo, Blowhard Bard

    Tian-Xie, Nearsighted Ninja

    Sumack, Disrespectful Druid

    Kali, Gritty Gunslinger

    Krox, Killer Krox


    The Story:

    The party had taken a few days off to rest and relax in the slowly settling capital of Varisia, Korvosa. The riots were dying down, trade had picked up once more, and the party hadn’t heard so much as a peep from Field Marshall Cressida Kroft. The only foreboding sign was a rumor, one the party members had heard passing among the notoriously volatile Korvosan population. Speaking to the barkeep of the Three Rings Tavern confirmed their suspicions that something was indeed amiss. The tale on everyone’s lips was that the late King had been poisoned. This rumor, coming so soon after the riots from the King’s death had subsided, was creating quite a stir.

    Unfortunately, our motley crew was not in any shape to address this swelling unrest on their own. Many – but not all – of the party were beginning to show signs of morbid obesity and complacency as they stared for hours on end at their entertainment tablets. Newly introduced to the city, these lightweight sheets of obsidian had been enchanted with powerful illusion magic, causing a mild form of hypnosis in whoever stares into them for more than a few moments. If Kroft hadn’t appeared when she did, I can only imagine the horrifying depths of complacency the party may have fallen to.

    Let us not dwell on what was not, but what was! Cressida approached the party and revealed the name of the suspected murderer: Trinia Sabor, a young painter, who had been commissioned to paint the King only a few weeks before he died. Kroft herself seemed unsure about the timing of this evidence coming to light, however, and warned the party to be on their guard, and see to it that Trinia was brought in quickly and, above all, quietly, to avoid lighting the powder keg that was Korvosa.

    The party set out, braving streets lined with people, a churning ocean of humanity only barely contained by the buildings lining the streets. On their way the group faced a surprise ambush by one of the otyughs held in the Korvosan sewers, enraged by the constant commotion of the streets above. The party handily defeated this foe, and continued their way down side-streets and back alleys until they entered The Shingles, a ramshackle section of Korvosa notorious for its poverty-stricken denizens and towering tenements. The group entered Trinia’s building, sweet talking a few of its inhabitants (and greasing a few palms) until they made their way to Trinia’s apartment. Upon entering, they found her sleeping in bed.

    But she wasn’t! SURPRISE! Oh ho ho! That was merely an illusion; some members of the party had attempted to communicate to Trinia when they discovered her door was blocked, which gave the young woman more than enough time to escape out the window and onto the real highways and byways of The Shingles: the rooftops. Thus followed a mighty, merry chase. Various members of the party leapt wide (or narrow) gaps, scaled walls, brushed off chokers, and avoided/reasoned with vicious hounds. Half of the party fell at one point or another, introducing themselves suddenly to the crowds below. Alora was particularly guilty of this, failing to climb back to the rooftops SEVERAL times, with the aid of Krox and his mighty Teflon shield. He eventually decided she was a lost cause, and made his way through the crowds, attempting to keep track of Trinia on foot.

    At what was quite honestly the last second, Tian Xie managed to catch up with Trinia and wrestle her to the ground. The girl immediately began sobbing and asking to be released, swearing that she had no idea why these rumors were being spread and that she had nothing to do with the death of the King. When the rest of the party finally caught up, they discussed turning Trinia over to the guards, letting her go, or hiding her someplace. They discussed, and they argued, and they debated, and they took so long that a squadron of Sable Company griffin riders saw them and came to collect Trinia.

    Back at Citadel Volshyenek, Field Marshall Kroft commended the group for their success and handed them their rewards. There was no time to bask in the glow of a choice well made (for them, by guards) as Kroft was currently dealing with another matter, a matter which demanded the attention of a certain group of capable warriors and, well, I don’t want to yeah it was the party. Gaekhen, a Shoanti from the north, had recently been killed in Korvosa. In an attempt to retain the strangled peace between the barbarians and Korvosa, his grandfather, Thousand Bones, had come to the city to claim his body. Talk about a bad time to visit the city! His body, however, had been sold to a necromancer named Rolth, and if that sounds awesome because necromancers are awesome, well I’m right there with you. Thousand Bones didn’t think it was awesome, though, and vowed that if his grandson’s body wasn’t found and delivered soon, the Shoanti would send their own soldiers in to retrieve it – and carve their way through Korvosa in the process.

    Armed with knowledge of the situation, a degree of wit and even, I dare say, a taste for adventure, our heroes made their way to where the body sale went down, and found an entrance to a subterranean structure inhabited by derro. Traps, goons, and necrophidiuses – necrophidii? – abounded, but our stalwart bastions of righteousness continued onward. Until it got too late IRL, and we had to call it.


    Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion of CURSE OF THE CRIMSON THRONE PART ONE – EDGE OF ANARCHY

  • Pathfinder,  worthless shit

    Pathfinder: Rolling Bones for Pharasma

    Alright dorklords, here comes the first ever Chesapeake Team Butts Pathfinder game! It’s planned for 1/28/12 at 5:30ish. We’re pretty much well-versed in how Pathfinder goes down already (say we’ll start at 1 PM, start at 5 PM, turn into a scene from 12 Angry Men when it comes time to decide where to eat, etc.), but this game’s going to be a bit different. In an effort to be less work for the DM for the players, we’re going to have slightly different rules. First off though:

    The Module:

    Here is the module I’ll be running. It’s a well-regarded 1st-level module. Here’s the description:

    “The priests of Pharasma in the strange city of Kaer Maga have long sold plots in their ossuary to those rich enough to afford them – a place of honor and stature for one’s bones to lie after death. Yet now, this mausoleum has become full, and it is time to break into a new and unexplored wing of the dungeons under Kaer Maga to create more room. To a band of fledgling heroes, eager to make names for themselves, this represents a singular opportunity – a chance to explore a heretofore sealed section of the Godsmouth Ossuary and perhaps make a fair amount of gold on the side. The only catch is that they’ll need to survive what strange and ancient mysteries lie within! An urban and dungeon adventure for 1st-level characters.”

    So polish up on your boner puns dammit.

    The Players:
    These are the people I have signed up as definite so far:
    Bob – Asaarnian cleric
    Enoch – Changeling summoner
    Steven – Leaning towards magus
    Eric – Some sort of tank
    Jack – Half-orc ranger
    Rules: (more may be forthcoming)
    1. Regarding Class/Race/Archetype – You can be any race/class/archetype from any of the Paizo-published books. No third party stuff. Now you can be that Tengu Druid you always wanted to be but if you pick Kitsune I swear to all the Gods in the Heavens that I will bring all my anime Ore wa baka neko yamate yo onii-chan Japanese down upon your head and play the Revolutionary Girl Utena soundtrack whenever you move. Nobody wants that.

    2. Regarding Alignment – Your alignment has to be above chaotic neutral. This is a conscious effort to promote less waffling on the DM’s part if you decide your character’s just going to start icing quest-givers and orphans better synergy and roleplaying amongst the group.
    3. Regarding stats –  You get 75 points divvied up through the 6 stats. Minimum stat must be 8, no more than 2 stats at 18. This is before racials. This puts us at the ‘Standard Fantasy’ level. When we’ve played at 85 points pre-racial we’ve noticed that our Kroxes cause monsters to burst like they’ve been hit with a cannon, our spellcasters are basically Arks of the Covenant in robes, and watching our gunslingers fight is like watching the Zapruder film: Lord of the Rings edition. Our bards remained comically inept.
    4. Regarding the first level –  You get 1 extra skill rank or 1 max HP at first level.
    5. Regarding backstories –  A backstory would be appreciated, no matter how short. At the very minimum, you have to have a reason why you’re in Kaer Maga and agreeing to do a job like this in the first place.
    6. Regarding traits –  To compensate for the lower stats, I’ll be allowing two traits at start. Try to work them into your backstory (it’s generally pretty easy).
    7. Regarding cards/skill spreadsheets –  Not required but they are very useful and they help speed things along. At least bookmark or keep track of your skills in your books or smartphones.
    8. Regarding buying stuff – Kaer Maga’s a pretty anarchic city and close to Korvosa, so you can buy what you want for starting gear with your starting wealth.
    9. Regarding carrying capacity – Adding up weight and shit and calculating encumbrance detriments is a lot of work. I get that. So to make things smoother I’ll say this: For our purposes our rule is going to be (within reason) use the speed given by your armor stats, but as long as all your junk doesn’t take you over the max med. load, assume no encumbrance detriments. That sounds like a weird rule, but again, since we’re playing with lower stats than normal I’ll allow it.
    10. Regarding character sheetsMake one on DNDsheets and send the link to me beforehand if you would. I might tinker with and add bonus checks/spot checks/rooms etc. if there are some checks that people have that the module doesn’t use. (I probably won’t subtract checks.)

    Also, if you have a snack/drink/liquor/beer preference, send a shout out and I can get some.

  • Pathfinder

    Pathfinder: Heroes of Nirmathas

    This is it, guys!  This is the beginning of our campaign with our new characters and my first game as a DM.  Hopefully, this won’t be the last.  The stage is set for this Saturday afternoon (February 5th) and it probably won’t end until later in the evening.  This post will serve as a last minute FAQ for anybody who wants to participate.  I actually meant to post this up on Tuesday but I got really busy.  Oh well.

    What the hell is Pathfinder?
    Pathfinder is a pen and paper RPG that split off from Dungeons and Dragon after the 4th edition came out.  It’s essentially Dungeons and Dragons 3.75 or what 3.5 should have been.

    Wait, isn’t DnD like really nerdy?  Why should I care?
    Well, I can’t really change your mind if you think the game is too “nerdy” for you.  If you don’t want to play then that’s cool.  I will ask that you refrain from passing any judgement until you’ve actually played a game or two yourself.  Personally, I’ve always wanted to play a pen and paper RPG like this for a while.  Until recently, there wasn’t really enough interest to justify learning the rules and going through the long process of making a character.  But now, thanks to Arkham Horror and Call of Cthuhlu, we can finally play a proper pen and paper RPG.  Exciting, isn’t it?

    Okay, you’ve convinced me! I’ll meet up at your hou…
    Whoa whoa whoa!  You’re going way too fast.  First, before you can play, you need to make some preparations of your own.  These preparations are for the benefit for the whole group.  There’s nothing more tedious than stopping a game in the middle of combat because somebody didn’t understand how attacks of opportunity work.  That said, you don’t have to read EVERYTHING since it is a lot to go through in one day.  Everything you need to know are available at this website: http://www.d20pfsrd.com/

    That’s a lot of shit.  Where do I start first?
    You don’t have to go through everything but you need to at least read the combat rules.  I can’t stress this enough.  You must read the entire combat section.  Some of it might sound confusing and that’s okay.  We can clarify everything once the game starts but you must at least know the basic concepts.  Then after that, if you have time, read the additional rules.  If you’re going to be a caster, read the magic section as well.  When you think you got the basics down, then it’s time to make your class.  Read this page and follow it step by step.  Contact me if you need help.  You can even bring over a partially created character and we can finish him/her off real quick.  Just make sure you know what you want before you come.   If you want, you can even create a back story for your character.

    Hey, none of these questions applies to me!  I already know what I’m doing!  Tell me what do I need to know for this game?
    Since this is my first game DMing, we will be running a module.  Let me warn you, though, that this module isn’t very sandbox friendly.  So, please bare with me.  For this particular game, I will allow one trait if you provide a back story that explains why you have the trait.  The first game will take place in a small town called Kassen.  It’s in Nirmathas.  A long time ago, a raider (Asar) kept attacking the town for two months until the town’s founder (Ekat Kassen) stepped in and killed the raider.  Unfortunately, Kassen was mortally wounded and died two days later.  To honor his death, the townfolks built a crypt for Kassen and with an eternal flame hanging over his sarcophagus.  It has become a tradition to journey to the crypt every year, now.  Adventurers must light a lantern using the everflame and bring it back to town, where a huge festival awaits.

    Is that it?
    There’s a lot of information that I’m sure that I’m missing.  In any case, if you have any questions, feel free to IM me and I’ll help you out if I can.  Again, this game is taking place this Saturday.  Please show up on time.  Thanks.

  • current event horizons,  Pathfinder

    Pathfinder: Seek Your Path Down the Trail Which Led You Here to Find the Truth (February 19th is GAME TIME)

    Okay here are some changes to the game for next time:

    1) Traits are IN. Go HERE to look up what you have available. One per person so don’t get too crazy. Anything is open to you, more or less, with the caveat that you must work it into your backstory. Which reminds me,

    2) Backstories, while not mandatory, help both the DM (that’s me) and you (that’s you) understand and work with your character. It’s a lot easier to remember your character’s alignment and particulars of their personality when you have a source to draw such things from, instead of the nebulous ‘well I’m Lawful Good but not really in a high-handed douchebag way.”

    You’re free to not write a backstory if you really don’t want to, but then you won’t get a trait (and everyone else is going to make one so just make one alright). It doesn’t have to be long or really detailed; a paragraph or two will be more than sufficient. Check out the geography of the Pathfinder world HERE to start checking out countries and what have you for your chosen race. You may want to wait until I figure out where this campaign is going to be set so you can figure out how you got there, or you can jump right in and start building it now. It’s seriously not hard.

    3) Most of you already know this, but I will be allowing use of the Ultimate Combat Guide (I think that’s what it’s called) beta, which includes three new classes (Gunslinger, Ninja and Samurai) to choose from. Go HERE to check it out and see what’s what! I would think if you want to choose either Samurai or Ninja you’d have to be from Tian (basically another continent which is Asia) but I’m always open to changing or breaking rules if you can provide a good backstory and logical reasoning so there you go!

    4) Remember that, after last time, you can change essentially any part of your character you’re not happy about. Talk to me about it first so I can make sure it gels with everyone else and that it’s OK but aside from that it’s pretty much Open Season. If you’ve taken some more time to peruse the kits, or you don’t like your feats, or whatever, just tell me what you want to do and we’ll try to get it done.

    Either get in touch via the usual methods OR just comment below! My Goodness that’s so handy and easy and convenient now there’s absolutely no reason not to wait until the last minute for things!

    Handy links you may need to refer to again:

    Character Traits
    The World of Golarian
    Ultimate Combat Playtest <-- this is passworded ask me for the password if you don't already know it! or anyone else on puppyrush because they all know it!

  • Pathfinder

    Pathfinder Trip Report – Goblins Gotta Go

    Pathfinder Perspective

    The bustling trade town of Shrewsberry upon first sight seems peaceful, but on second glance their stone walls seems to be poorly fortified. Their mayor, Mayor Paul, calls upon any brave warrior to stop a goblin threat against their city. A motley crew of seven brave adventurers heed the call.

    • Godrick, the Half Orc Fighter
    • Ellannan, the Half Elf Paladin
    • Darzzo, the Halfling Bard
    • Meladriel, the Elf Rogue
    • Sumak, the Halfling Druid
    • Alora, the Half Elf Sorcerer
    • Dolgrin, the Monk Dwarf

    They meet at an inn and talk about the situation. Goblins seem to be camping in the north and south. A vote is cast, and they decide they should attack at night, to catch any goblin threat off guard. Careful planning was involved, as goblins could easily ambush our heroes as they can see in the dark.

    Another vote is cast, and the heroes decide to head north. Sumak uses his advanced survival skills to find goblin tracks that head north east. The adventurers follow in single file through the slowly dimming forest, only to come across a camp fire in the middle of a clearing.

    The clearing has six goblins, with five around a campfire, and one seemingly away from the rest of his pack, fast asleep by a tree. Meladriel, being a deadly trained rogue, uses his cat like stealth to try to plunge an arrow in the heart of the goblin dozing off. He is successful, and our party fights off the remaining goblins. They find 12 gold, some short swords, and some light shields.

    Our heroes decide to eliminate the other goblin camp down south. They return to the city of Shrewsberry to backtrack the goblin trail. The path leads them to the second goblin camp, visible in the quiet darkness.

    Before they strike, Darzzo uses his bard training to understand the goblin language. He overhears a mumbling about a “waterfall”. Unfortunately for the goblins, they mumble their last breath, as they get horrendously slaughtered by both bow and blade. Our heroes triumph once again, and loot 8 gold, some short swords and finally a map.

    The crudely drawn map shows two points, and is assumed to be the two goblin camps. After some very painful deliberation our party decides to follow the river upstream to see what lurks ahead.

    Eventually, our party arrives at the end of the river into a waterfall, the torrent of water rushing down spraying a fine mist in the air. A door is spotted beyond the waterfall, and our pathfinders trudge on. They find the door is locked, but our rogue friend Meladriel picks the lock after some careful fiddling. The door is slowly open, as creak of rusted iron hinges echoes in harmony with the pitter-patter of water dripping down the stone walls. Everyone takes a look inside the cave.

    It is pitch black, so a stone is illuminated with Light, and our heroes walk carefully inside. The faint glow of luminousness emitting from the rock flickers along the jagged cave walls. The path creeps along until it makes a sharp right, where our heroes stop and examine the turn around the corner.

    Godrick, the half-orc leading the party with his perfect night vision exclaims out-loud “Halt! I see… stairs!”. Godrick’s deep voice stirs echoes in the cave.

    Sumak the halfling, calls out right behind Godrick, “Stairs? How big?”. Sumak once had a terrible accident regarding stairs, a pack mule, and a bee hive.

    Alora, the half-elf replies sharply: “Who cares? More importantly, which way do they go, up or down?”. Alora seemed to be irritated at the prospect at stairs, as she was always pampered and never enjoyed the prospect of doing more work than she had to.

    Our adventures stare at the steps for a while, perplexed as they could not decide which way the stairs lead, even though the steps lay simply in plain sight before them. One might believe that such a notion to determine whether stairs lead up or down would be absurd, but unfortunately our heroes were literally in the dark. After some deep deliberation, they decide the stairs do in fact go down, and after even more careful planning they walk down the slippery steps.

    As everyone assembles themselves at the bottom of the stairs, they approach a door with what seems to have a terrible odor and loud rumbling snoring. The door is opened, and inside the source of both the foul smells and sounds could be faintly seen – it was an ogre. It’s faint outline was visible from the door, with the three torches lit in the room providing just enough light. The ogre itself was possibly 10 feet tall, weighed as much as four men, and slept with a large wooden club, covered in what seemed to be blood of it’s latest victims. Meladriel realizes we would stand no chance against such an enormous creature, tip toes quietly to the ogre. He unsheathes his longsword, and plunges it directly in the skull of the slumbering ogre. A howl of pain would have filled the walls of the room, had it not been for the fact the ogre’s brain scattered along the floor.

    Our party gathers themselves, cleans themselves up, and moves down the hall of where the ogre now lays dead. They come across a branching path, so two parties were formed. Meladriel, Godrick, Sumak, and Darzzo go to the left, while Alora, Ellannan and Dolgrin walk towards the right.

    Meladriel, Godrick, Sumak, and Darzzo creep along the cave until they find a small room. Unfortunately they are not alone, as they stumble upon a pack of goblins playing poker. The goblins stare as our heroes stare back, realizing the depth of their situation. The goblins, being the more nimble creatures they are, react first, throwing their playing cards up in the air and flipping their table, drawing their bows and bucklers. Our heroes call out for help, as Alora, Ellannan and Dolgrin come running back and assisting the fight.

    The goblins are slaughtered, their corpses once drawing cards are now drawing blood speckled all over the walls. Our heroes loot their earnings and then some, and move on to the other path where Alora, Ellannan and Dolgrin initially went. At the end of this hall, loud voices can be heard on the way.

    The voices seem goblin, except they sound logical, almost intelligent. The high pitched squeaks seem displeased, as hand-slapping could be heard in between foot-stomping. Our party runs in, screaming at the top of their lungs, only for two of them to be knocked down by two bugbears hiding around the corner. The remaining five stop in their footsteps, their eyes pathing through the lines of the wall, until they see the source of the squeaks – a goblin, taller than most – but just as hideous. This goblin is sitting on what looks like to be a crudely constructed wooden throne, while his legs are crossed, seemingly bored that more adventurers are willing to throw their lives to forfeit.

    Sumak’s eyes grew, “That must be the… prince of go-“.

    Alora cut in “-bolins! The prince of goblins!”.

    Uneventfully, both the two bugbears and the goblin prince were slaughtered by our heroes, their knives and spells plunging into flesh and bone till nothing but shimmering loot could be found. Sumak decides to sit in the throne, himself once being a prince (though many just believe he’s crazy because he just talks to plants all day). As he sits down and wiggles his rear in to the still warm cushion, he finds a small button, and presses it with out second thought. The button reveals a small hidden compartment in the wall, showing a burlap bag with a pound of platinum.

    This newly found loot in hand, our heroes make the journey back to the village of Shrewsberry, where they receive their reward and rest.